Recipe: Raccoon goulash

Paprika-spicy and tender meat in a rich, dark-red broth. Ozpörkölt. Ish. Serves at least eight.

Now chilled and gelled, coon goulash leftovers.

1 small (10 lbs.) raccoon
4 slices bacon
1 onion
1 carrot, peeled, in chunks
1 red bell pepper, roasted, sliced
.5 head garlic (not traditional, but there you go)
4 T paprika or more
1.5 t caraway seeds
A few allspice berries
1 cup tomato confit … paste, if you wish
.5 tsp dried thyme
2 cans beer (Moose Drool and Schlitz, mine)
1/2 cup wine vinegar (champagne, mine; yours should be red)

5 medium Yukon Gold potatoes
half-stick butter

1 package egg noodles


1. In the bottom of the pressure cooker, fry the bacon until crisp.

2. Add the onions. Fry them until soft.

3. While things are frying, remove all the fat that you can from the coon, and cut it into chunks.

4. Brown the coon — in that pot, and as many others as needed to give the pieces a bit of space.

5. Add the coon to the pot. Also add everything else (save the potatoes and noodles). Add water to cover the meat, but not more than 2/3 of the way up the pot, I am told. Stir well. Pressure-cook for about an hour, including the half-hour it takes to let the pressure settle back down.

6. Meanwhile, boil the potatoes until soft, chop and toss with butter. Reuse that water to boil the noodles.

Serve over potatoes and noodles. Two starches at once — is that a sin? If so, a delicious one.


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